Tuesday, September 30, 2008

more people problems

I swear that I'm just going to pack up the family and go. Last night Anna had a powder puff football game. It was the juniors verses the seniors. The juniors lost. But any ways, of course we ran into the family of Anna's best friend with the eating disorder. We were still very friendly but I feel like Anna is being painted as the bad guy. I understand that it is only natural to take the side of your child. A parent is only getting their child's side and of course you love them and don't want them to hurt. But I really do try to look at every side. I think that the most miserable people are the ones that are selfish. So I try to be fair and I've tried to instill this in my children. But I really don't want to do this any more. I politely told her that Anna is having some issues from her daughter's eating disorder but it seems that all they are really caring about is getting them back together so their daughter is happy again. Dennis said that I should just tell her how much damage this has caused in our house. And try to look at it from our side but I'm thinking that that won't happen. Her daughter did some very mean and abusive things to Anna (I know it's just part of the disease) and sometimes Anna doesn't trust her. If she doesn't get her way she has a fit. And I don't think that Anna should have to deal with this. She has tried to talk to her about it but she just turns and attacks. I've seen her do things to Anna that were out of line but she is just so selfish at this point. They just keep saying that Anna abandoned her but they don't realize that our family was drug through the eating disorder hell too. I don't understand how this can be so one sided. We have been through this with them but now that Anna is having issues she is evil for not being there for their daughter.
I really need some help with this. I've asked nicely for some space but they keep pushing. Either its from truly just wanting to keep their child happy or from not understanding how bad it is from our end. I hate confrontation with all of my heart but I'm afraid that this is what its coming too. When she called before I tried to gently explain it but she was so defensive that I stopped trying. I just think that if I leave it alone they will just think that Anna is a bad person and if I explain it Anna will still be the bad person. All I know is that Anna has been so much happier with out all the drama and chaos. I'm not going to force her back into an abusive friendship. They just won't stop. Please help me. I was hoping that it would just blow over but it looks like it won't happen. And the thing is I really like them but they are so defensive that I don't think I can get through.
Whenever things get bad Den says that we should pack up and move to the middle of no where so no one can bother us. I'm starting to think that abandoning civilization might be a good thing.
Thank you,

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