Monday, September 22, 2008

People problems

Did you ever feel like you were blind sided? Well, I'm feeling like that now. And I think that I may have handled it wrong?
Anna will be turning 17 the beginning of 2009 and I really thought I was done with all the 8 year old drama. Ahhh not so, it seems.
My daughter's best friend has an eating disorder and she has had it for some time. It has been a very trying time for everyone around. My daughter has stuck with her through it all. The problem as I see it(take what I'm saying with a grain of salt because I'm a little ticked) is this girls very loving, kind and passive family is enabling her. They truly are good people but they do everything they can to keep her happy. I've personally seen here treat them awful and they cave to keep her happy. She also has been very abusive with Anna. She attacks her if Anna is not keeping her happy and she has even been quite rude with me because she is unhappy with Anna. And I know that Anna has tolerated a lot of abuse. She lashes out if the people around her aren't pleasing her. And she doesn't want Anna to have any other friends. I've tried to help both girls work this out but now Anna is done. It got to the point where they would just yell and scream at each other. I was so sick of the drama that I stepped in and said if you want to act like your 8 then I'm treating you like it and you have a time out. To which my daughter said it's fine because I can't reason with her and I've lost my patients. See and what you have to understand is Anna is very passive. She will try to reason it out with you , if that doesn't work then she will just drop it and let the person run over her. Eventually she will just get sick of it and have nothing more to do with them, I think she may be getting this from me. I just don't know what else to tell her to do about it.
So her mother called to tell me that it was all Anna's fault that they were fighting and could I please do something about this. She wanted to once again make her daughter happy by having me force them to be friends. Her daughter doesn't have very many friends(maybe because she has abused so many girls) and this fight is not good for her. She wanted to make sure that I understand that she doesn't have an eating disorder and it must be Anna's fault. And she said she doesn't have an eating disorder because she ate dinner. The thing is is doesn't even weigh
100 lbs. And she looks like she may fall over at any time.
It was very hard but I took the high road and just said that they are almost legal adults and that I don't think that their mommies should have to referee fights. And I added that they should probably just stay away from each other. I was polite but I really don't know what to do with this.
This really may be all my fault because this is how I deal with people. I try to be reasonable and explain why I feel like I do and then after a while I just give up.
This is awful. I really feel sorry for this family and this girl. With all my heart I mean that but the only way I see to fix this is for someone to step in and put their foot down. But that isn't going to happen. Anna is putting her foot down and now they are doing anything they can to get their way. I just can't see telling her she has to tolerate someone that is being abusive. A friendship shouldn't be this painful.
Did you ever just feel like you wanted to run away to the middle of no where. I'm still contemplating if I'm going to bring my family with me. HAHA!
SonyaAnn >

No comments: