Tuesday, October 26, 2010

An Update!

I usually don't post jokes that I get off of the Internet but this one ties in so well that you need to read it first and then what is happening here. In the end, it is always perspective.

Here is the joke, most of you have already read it but.......................................
Subject: What pets write in their diary

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity..

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around her feet as she was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

We have not had satellite for 42 days. Den is OK with it most of the time. But on occasion, he points an invisible remote at the TV and tries to press buttons when I'm in the room. DJ whimpers a lot and complains that there is nothing to do in the house. And that is where I remind him that there are always chores to be done and homework.
I, on the other hand, think its great. There is less noise in the house and we are saving $25 a month.
I feel the stirs of a rebellion coming, though. I have been sleeping with the light on and one eye open for some time now.
Thanks for stopping by,


Annie Jones said...

Oh, I would love to be not just cable free, but TV free here. But my family whines and whimpers enough WITH cable. I don't think I could take it without.

Nicole said...

My mom was good at the "you're bored, here's some chores" thing.

SonyaAnn said...

Annie Jones-They are starting to wear me down a bit! I'm just wondering how Thanksgiving is going to be with everyone here. It's usually a big football day for the family. Or even better they can go complain at someone elses house!

SonyaAnn said...


Nicole said...

Nah, it's ok. And I know how to iron and sew and make a bed and wash dishes without a dishwasher and shovel snow and pull dandelions and hang clothing without a dryer etc. Not that I ever use those skills now, but I could if I had to.

Sheila said...

AH HA---so I survived an assassination attempt this morning!! You would think with the food bowl in my hand that the kittens would just let me by--maybe I wasn't moving fast enough!! We saved over $50 a month by switching from TW cable to dish network--still nothing to watch but it's much cheaper!! I can and do go all day without the TV on but Kevin comes home and you can't hear yourself think--it's so loud!! I could do alright without the TV but don't take away my music. Take care.

Dawna said...

Hmmm... the dog diary looks suspiciously like you have been reading over my shoulder, as I update MY diary.

SonyaAnn said...

Nicole-I read on Frugal Babe that they eat dandelions so don't waste them. Don't think I'll ever be that hungry!

SonyaAnn said...

Sheila-I'll be over in a bit to see what you survived.
It is so peaceful in this house. I love it and no one else. DJ is dying here, he has no xbox or TV. I keep reminding him that we have plenty of dvds. But that isn't helping any!

SonyaAnn said...

Dawna-My diary would be the cats! Nothing but contempt!

Frances said...

I just love that and laugh every time I read it. I don't know about the dog one, but my cats have made the same entries in their diaries. LOL!

I like my tv too much. Won't give it up. Though I did get it cheaper.

nicole said...

Oh ick, yeah, with dandelions you're supposed to pick them young. They're still way too bitter for my palate. I'm more a butter lettuce kind of person.

SonyaAnn said...

Frances-I love it too. My cat acts more like a dog so I doubt that his entries look like that!

SonyaAnn said...

nicole-I just don't think that I could ever look at them and think yum!