When I was a kid, I adored my grandmother. She was my entire world. She loved me but she had an odd way of showing it. Her love usually involved a curse on me. I spent my entire childhood turning her stomach and making her talk to the ceiling. She was very prim and proper, think of Jackie O and her style. I, on the other hand, wanted to live more like Oscar the grouch. She often had to pick dead bugs out of my hair and scrub dirt out of my clothes. I rode ATVs and only hung out with guys. All I wanted to be was a boy when I was little. I did try to pee standing a few times but it really didn't work out. I can say now that I'm older, I have come a long way. I bathe every day and I'm good housekeeper. Who knew? I also wear mascara once in a while, that is huge if you knew me from when I was young. I can also ride ATVs, spit and street fight with the best of them.
Needless to say, I grew up. I also did not escape the curse. Anna often said while she lived here that it was like living with three guys. She loves to primp and be girly, I tired not to gag until I got out of the room. Ahhh but DJ is a God awful slob. He smells like dirt and farts half the time and he would never bathe if I didn't remind him loudly.
We were driving down the road the other day and I just happened to look back at him. This is going to sound completely wrong but his crotch caught my eye. Wrong but true. I looked down and he had split the front of his jeans and was still wearing them. Who does that?
So I look at him with horror and in my best parenting voice I say, "Jesus Christ boy, is that your right nut?"
He then had the nerve to call me a pervert!
If I hadn't taken that pair of jeans out of rotation, he would still be wearing them. I'm off to shop for some clothes for him.
The first thing that popped into my mind was my Grandmother. I still miss her.
Thanks for stopping over,