Monday, January 16, 2012

My Confession

My confession is that I would love to see that priest shirtless. Drool! Wishing he was the fab ab Friday man! I know that I'm going to Hell, DJ promises me all of the time that they are working on a glorious throne as we speak. Mark, I'm not even going to bring up some of the naughtiness you have committed. But I bet that it was HOT!
I'm going to tell you this and please show some self control in the comment section. One of us needs to have some control since I have none.
It started off so innocently. Well not really but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Den and I thought(Den and I thinking together should never happen again. When we combine forces and agree, bad shit happens. We are better off on opposite sides at all times.) that we deserved a little grown up time. Honestly, porn shops ans strip clubs would have been a better choice.*sigh* We managed to dump off DJ on his grandparents on Saturday. Most of you would be thinking that a nice romantic dinner and sex would be great but no on that one too. We decided as a couple that we would go to a casino just over a hour south of us. We had planned to go on Sunday morning but decided that we couldn't wait.
I think this is the point that I need to interrupt myself. A few weeks ago when Anna was home and DJ was off school , we took the kids to the WI Dells. We dumped them off at the water park/hotel and we went to the casino. I had been working on an algorithm for roulette. Yes, I work on math problems for fun. It is great trying to figure out a way to predict the unpredictable. DJ would even join in and help me. And yes, I thought that I had solved one of life's mysteries-roulette. I impressed myself by being able to come out ahead the majority of time on an online site. And no, I was not teaching my child to gamble-it was a math exercise. 
We cleaned house in the Dells. And I'm not kidding! We walked out over $300 up. We had a blast. We were there over 12 hours. We tried to sneak into our room at 4 am but we were far from stealth and pissed the kids off to no end. We won all the way around.
So we figured that we were unstoppable. Do you have a smug look on your face yet? Gloat, its fine. We took out $200, yes $200 and went to the casino. For some reason, we walked out of there with no money. None.
The next day, we decided that it must be the casino's fault and took out another $150 and hit a casino a hour north of us. Would you like to guess how this one went? We lost again. Hmmmm, $350 down in two days. And now is the point where someone needs to pick sluggy up from the floor. I bet she won't even be able to type.
I am now cured of gambling. Den I'm not so sure about. He said that he wanted to go back and try and get his money back. I said a better bet would be to rob a bank. It ain't happening anytime soon-the bank robbin' or the casino.
You could say that we are only $50 down but what I left out was the fact that I gave the $300 to my MIL to pay for our car when we go to Vegas in the summer. I don't even want to think about what will happen when we go back.
Signed,
The fuctard

14 comments:

slugmama said...

smcoelhsg.vslkslfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Annie said...

We have riverboat casinos here. I went a few times when they first opened, and I had a strict $20 limit and played only slots.

Really, I don't understand the appeal.

Oh wait. Yes I do...it's the all you can eat buffet!

Mark said...

You poor sad fuctard! Hey, you named yourself that, not me. But I like it!
Yeah, that priest is hot. There's something about a man in a collar that totally does it for me. Perhaps it's the forbidden fruit thing. Whatever!
Anyway, I'm glad that you're not addicted to gambling. If you lost all and got desperate, you might have to sell you body. Just think about it!
m.

SonyaAnn said...

Sluggy-Are you drinking again?

SonyaAnn said...

Annie-I'm so ashamed of myself that I knew if I posted this I would shame myself into behaving. Well maybe.

SonyaAnn said...

Mark-Well we like the same kind of man. God help us.
And I have to tell you that Fred's accent is delicious.
I think that I would be a better pimp than prostitute.

Frances said...

Did you lose the house payment or food money? If not, I say have a ball! Of course, you know I love casinos.

Sheila said...

Forgive me Father for I have sinned, hell yeah I want Him shirtless too! Damn

Wishing you debtor luck oops better luck @ the casino next time ;)

Jane said...

"Mark-Well we like the same kind of man. God help us."
Just a wee bit ironic don't you think??
Going to "win your money back" is how they reel you in...I was once married to a gambling man and it wasn't pretty. Obviously we aren't married anymore! Stay away, just say NO!

slugmama said...

well I fooled ya, didn't I? I was still able to type...umm, define "type" tho.lol

Still waiting on the floor for someone to pick her up, Sluggy

SonyaAnn said...

Frances-I was never big on casinos but we keep having a blast and getting alone is such a nice thing.
And we haven't lost the house payment yet. LOL

SonyaAnn said...

Sheila-We are funny.
I hope our oop improves too. Funny you put it like that. Couponing, anyone?

SonyaAnn said...

Jane-If Mark and I combine forces, it would be bad or funny. I'm not sure yet.
I'm sorry about your ex but I'm glad that he is in your past.
Have a great week.

SonyaAnn said...

sluggy-While you are down there can you get some of the dust bunnies?