Monday, January 30, 2012

An Out of Control DInk

As you know, I babysit from time to time for Dalten. He is 3 and absolutely adorable. His mother is in nursing school and needs help some afternoons into the evening. His dad is a UPS driver and never knows when he will get home. I'm flexible so it works well for everyone.
DJ hasn't gotten his license since he has turned 16. Most kids want to run out and get it but not him. He said that it is terrifying to drive around here. I agree, it scares me too sometimes. I haven't been pushing him but I can't see him waiting much longer. And I'm sure that the insurance company is going to jack up the rates soon. The jacking of the rates is his problem not mine. We told him it is the same deal as Anna, he is responsible for paying his car insurance. I'm very afraid of how much it is going to go up even with a good student discount.
So I came up with a solution for all of DJ's problems, I will watch Dalten until he gets home and then he takes over. He gets to keep the money even though I will have him for a few hours. I figure this is my way of helping him. I don't think that it is fair that his rates are so much higher than Anna's were. She had the white car to herself and he has to share the van with me and is still going to pay twice as much. I blame his testicle, he didn't find that funny.
I was making dinner the other night when we had Dalten. He said that he had to go potty. Awwwww, it's so cute when they are that little and say potty. Anyways, I told DJ to take him upstairs and help him. DJ rolled his eyes.(This is probably the best birth control ever for a teenage boy! I said to him one day while Dalten was having a little fit, "Just think if you have sex, you could end up with a Dalten." He said, "the thought of that was terrifying.")
Dalten is a HUGE talker and was jabbering on as they got in the bathroom. Then it hit me, I forgot to tell DJ to help him. And the catastrophe happened a little something like this......................
Me-"DJ push his dink down."
DJ-(Horrified) WHAT?!?!
Me-"Push it down!"
DJ-"I'M NOT GOING TO...................OH MY GOD, KID!"
And I bet you can figure out what happened from there. He hosed down the bathroom.
After Dalten finished and washed his hands, he came downstairs clapping. I joined in cheering him on and gave him skittles. Hey, even if you don't hit the pot in this house you still get skittles. DJ, on the other hand, was not clapping and shot me a dirty look. He stomped off with the windex and paper towels to go clean the bathroom. I lovingly reminded him that everyone in the family pushed his dink down when he was learning to go on the pot. He's always mad at me and I don't know why.
T.P anyone,
SonyaAnn




16 comments:

Annie said...

I'm so glad I raised girls.

Mark said...

I'm back!
Did you miss me?
Yeah, pee all over the floor isn't fun at all. And your poor kid getting a Golden Shower. Yeah, I think he's earned his paycheck.
Can you believe that this is the 2nd blog today that I mentioned a Golden-Shower! Seriously, I need to visit some Family Friendly sites.
Your Friend, m.

McVal said...

LOL! You have no idea how many Cheerios have floated in our toilets... hoping the kid would aim for them.

Sheila said...

Ah McVal thanks for the tip (re: Cheerios), my 8yo still needs them!

slugmama said...

Toddlers as birth control.....genius!lol
Don't scar DJ so badly that he never wants kids tho. ;-)

Jane said...

Me too, glad I had a girl. And now I know why all of my nephew's bathrooms smelled like pee!

Frances said...

I did a stint teaching 3 year old in daycare years ago. The way we got boys to aim for the potty was by making THEM clean the walls if they missed. Guess what? It worked and parents thanked me.

D.Lynn said...

Mark! I'm glad to see you back! I, for one, am here to say that it's not only 3 year olds that can't hit the toilet. It was my son's job (and later my husbands) to clean the bathroom. Ewwwww! Boys are icky!

SonyaAnn said...

Annie-LOL, I had one of each and DJ with all the Peeing was still easier than Anna.

SonyaAnn said...

Mark-So this was your second golden shower of the day? Who would like that stuff?
And I'm so glad you are back. I missed you bad and there was no sarcasm in that comment either.

SonyaAnn said...

McVal-Poor Cheerios. Bet they didn't want to grow up to be toilet aimers.

SonyaAnn said...

Sheila-My hubs and DJ still need them form time to time.

SonyaAnn said...

sluggy-I think that he is cured for life. He just keeps saying, "I will never do this to myself."

SonyaAnn said...

Jane-I cleaned for a woman who never wiped up-EVER after her son. The floor was mushy from the boards below having soaked up so much Pee. I couldn't get the smell out. I didn't clean for her very long. Not to mention the fact that her kid would throw up and she would leave it for months! True story.

SonyaAnn said...

Frances-I bet that would get them to aim better considering they are lazy.

SonyaAnn said...

D.Lynn-My boys aren't too bad but once in a while they get a bit out of control. Yelling usually improves their aim.