Monday, February 20, 2012

Not To Alarm You

 I don't want to scare anyone but I think that I might be a superhero. And better yet, I might have superpowers. If I'm going to be a super hero, I guess that I would choose Wonder Woman. I have big boobs and I wouldn't mind tying up a few people in a purely sexual way of course, its not like I would save anyone. Saving people would be work.
As you know I have never been one of those people to roast my husband on my blog. I guess I just think it is wrong. If I was going to tear him apart then I would at least let him write something in his defense or his side of the story, no matter how wrong and/or stupid it might be. OK back to the story. Den and I got into a nasty fight a while ago. I won't go into details except to say, I'm pretty sure he is always wrong and is completely missing the emotion chip. It might have been about him neglecting me emotionally and him having NO IDEA what I was talking about. Again, I won't roast him or tear him down but it must suck for him to be wrong all the time. I feel so much better that I stuck to not posting my personal life or our fights on my blog. Please forgive me for not telling you what the fight was about. And don't ask, I have values.
We both went to bed angry. Well I went to bed, he went to couch angry. It's good for him, it's like camping. As I was falling asleep I said to myself, "I wish that he knew how miserable it is to deal with him." And off to sleep I went. I should have wished for fucking money! I can't believe that I wasted my one wish on THIS!
After the fight was over and he decided that he was ALL wrong, he told me about his day. Actually, I think that he was afraid of what was to come if he didn't calm me down.
He said that his day went a little something like this. His eyes started to burn and itch not too long after he got to work. Then he got a small headache that went into a huge headache. Someone had finished off the bottle of aspirin that he keeps at work. Out of nowhere, he had stabbing pains in both of his ears. He said when blood started trickling from his nose he knew that I had put a voodoo curse on him. See how I get blamed for everything. He figured that I was shoving insulation up the voodoo doll's nose that I have of him. I told him that wasn't it at all, I was twisting the nuts on his voodoo doll. I must have had the doll upside down.
The fight is over and while I truly believe that no one ever wins when they fight, I'm putting another notch in my lipstick case. Not that I have a lipstick case or wear makeup. 

 And since we are being honest, I would probably closely resemble this picture if I dressed up like Wonder Woman. Sad but true. Is she wearing depends?

Or maybe I would resemble Chet more?
Have a voodoo free day,
SonyaAnn


20 comments:

Annie said...

You are wonder woman. You make me wonder about you sometimes...

Sheila said...

OMG with the 2nd WW pic...YIKES!

Mamma has spoken said...

Fights with hubby are never good. Though I know for me, I let it build up inside until I explode. Poor guy, even after 30 years, he doesn't know what hit him ;o)
As for the super hero, I would want to be something of my own invention. Hum, think I'll go do some inventing....

Mark said...

Remind me not to f&@# with you! I get enough migraines without you putting a curse on me.
Now on a serious note. I know, how boring. But still, did Den get that checked out? That could totally be serious. And you're way to young to be a hot rich widow!
m.
p.s. When I wrote my first line, up above, I left out "with". Thank God I saw that and added it! m.

SonyaAnn said...

Annie-Maybe I could be the blob when I grow up.

SonyaAnn said...

Sheila-People walk around looking like that. It's just hard to believe.

Jane said...

Oh you crack me up, not that I know what you were NOT telling us or anything. I mean, sheesh, it's not like I have super powers or anything...It's a good thing Den admitted he was wrong - it sure would save a lot of time and heartache if men would just admit that right off the bat!

SonyaAnn said...

Mamma has spoken-I hate fighting with Den but sometimes he is just so insensitive. And then I curse him and he behaves. Hmmmm, I'm on to something.
Go here.............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIb5DZozt8I

SonyaAnn said...

Mark-I have had more than my share of migraines too. Maybe someone has put a voodoo curse on both of us. There have been so many people that I have pissed off-it could happen. Who have you pissed off?
I think that his sinuses were all dried out. Just don't tell him that I don't really have super powers!
"hot rich widow!"-I will love you forever and never put a curse on you!

SonyaAnn said...

Jane-I think we should all be super heroes! At least to our men.
DJ said to me one day what he thought would make an attractive and good wife(ahhh the mind of a 16 yr old boy) she would be kind, clean, good with money but he had to be smarter than her. I laughed so hard and informed that poor stupid boy that all of them(females) are smarter than he is. I told Den and he just laughed and nodded in agreement.

McVal said...

:)? I had a fight with my hubs last night too and went to bed angry with him. How DARE he interrupt my phone call with his sister acting like he knew what we were talking about and that we knew NOTHINg about the situation. Oh come on! We were gossiping about 2 people past who he thought!
Someday you'll have to do a tutorial on how to make one of those dolls.

D.Lynn said...

I think it's more about how you FEEL rather than how you LOOK in terms of picking your superhero, so choose away! Be anyone you want (although I agree wholeheartedly about your Wonder Woman choice).
@ Mark - HI-larious about your almost absent "with" LMAO!
Lastly, it really is fun to mess with someone about having a voodoo doll, especially if they don't really know how serious to take you!!!

judy said...

Will cant even sleep on the couch when we argue now because I just got a new one. So our last fight he slep on my sons floor. Men should realize we are NEVER to be argued with and life would be better.

SonyaAnn said...

McVal-Why are men so bad? We are all-knowing. They should accept this and their lives would be easier. Did he go to couch angry?

SonyaAnn said...

D.Lynn-I just got the "with" that Mark left out. I think that it is his sub-conscious at work.
And I do take my voodoo very, very serious!

SonyaAnn said...

judy-AMEN, SISTER! They can be so simple sometimes. My MIL said that men need to be treated like puppies and whacked with a rolled up news paper from time to time. I would never hit a puppy but I am willing to smack the shit out of her son from time to time.

Frances said...

I got the only man in the world that knows I am always right. I guess that is why we don't have to fight.

I think you would make a HOT Wonder Woman. Nothing like the second pic.

Lisa B. said...

I also don't roast hubby on my site... but he can be the biggest insensitive prick I've ever known. Our fights don't last until we wake up the next morning either. After being married 21 years I'm tired of giving and getting very little in return.

Have you ever heard you can't teach an old dog new tricks? ;)

SonyaAnn said...

Frances-You have a great man! Den is just very stubborn and thinks when you don't agree that you are fighting with him. Ummmm, no I just don't agree. It takes him a while to think it through and then he is fine. Anna is like that. DJ is more like me-logical.
And thank you but I might look like the hot mess in the second picture.

SonyaAnn said...

Lisa B.-Why do they have to be so difficult? And yes, I have heard about old dogs. I have also heard that you should put old dogs down.