Monday, August 6, 2012

Wicked Mom of the West

Well not really the West-how about the Midwest? Have I ever told you how much I love my children? I do love them I just feel the need to be honest with them at times. They have said that my honesty cuts them to the soul. They exaggerate greatly, it just stings a little.
Anna is done with her 6 Flags job. She ended up being able to work almost 40 hours a week by the end of the summer. This was only because so many people had quit. Gee, I wonder why.
She is still short on the money that she needed to earn but ended up with more than I thought she would. She has already started applying for jobs by EIU. That made me feel better.
Here is the part of the story where I am really going to confuse you-my skin color is a light mocha in the winter. Feel free to ask yourself, why I threw that one in there. I get very dark in the summer and even when I "lighten up" it ain't white. I have no idea why I'm this color. No one seems to know either. Anna on the other hand, is a pasty white girl. I have said that she borders on being clear. When she was little no one thought that she was mine, they always thought that she was my MIL's daughter. They were both very white and blond. My MIL loved the fact that she looks young enough to be Anna's mom. I have offered to give her Anna many times. She laughs-I was not kidding.
We have now learned something new about Anna-she does not turn my color after spending a summer in the sun. She is ORANGE. She never used any tanning lotions and stopped using sun block after a while. And yes, I told her to use it but she didn't.
I'm not kidding either-its straight up ORANGE. And it is uneven. People are starting to ask questions. Because she had to wear a hat all day, she now has what she likes to call a "tan beard." It's like she rubbed cheap instant-tan-in-a-can on herself and missed a shit-load of spots. Her face and feet need some help.
She is hoping to fade fast!
I'm off to pack the orange one,
Sonya Ann

14 comments:

Mamma has spoken said...

Kids, they never listen to us do they? My son Steven found his dream 'adult' job in that he will be teaching chemistry AND coaching football at a high school. They had an all day scrimmage thingy two weeks ago. I told him he needed to put sun screen on his almost bald head (he had me shave it). He didn't and wore a visor instead of a hat. Wanta guess the rest of the story???
Let's just say his brothers are calling him tit head ;o)

Mark said...

She could star on The Jersey Shore! She'll blend right in.
m.

Trinette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McVal said...

LOL! She's an oompa loompa!!And nope.. some kids just WON'T listen...

slugmama said...

Orange is quite strange.....I've known swimmers who ended up with orange hair from the chlorine in pools. But I never knew it to turn your skin orange!

I can commiserate with Anna, as I am also a "see-thru" person. Hubs inherited his swarthy sicilian skintone and tanning ability from his father's family but all I had available was a smidgeon of Native genes and they are hiding all the skin pigment from me.
Unfortunately #2 Son got my skin genes....my only child who HAS TO be out in the sun for his marching band.
He slathers on the spf 60 sun block and still looks like a cooked lobster.
Then he peels and then he freckles.
We just pray for lots of band competitions at NIGHT.....

Jane said...

LMAO! I get a tan beard AND a tan moustache - it ain't pretty!!so i can relate with Anna!
When I am honest with Kazi she asks "why are you so mean?!" "Because I'm your mother" I say and then she says "well stop!" How am I supposed to do that???

Sonya Ann said...

Mamma has spoken-I laughed really hard about him being called tit head. Siblings are cruel and funny!

Sonya Ann said...

Mark-That ain't a good thing!

Sonya Ann said...

McVal-She makes me nuts!

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-Since Anna more closely resembles you, I will give her to you free of charge. You are welcome. Oh and I forgot to tell you that her hair is green. She has quite a look going on.
Do they have night concerts?

Sonya Ann said...

Jane-Somehow when you become a mother, you also become mean. How did this happen?

slugmama said...

"....Oh and I forgot to tell you that her hair is green. She has quite a look going on."

Hmmm, orange and green huh? I think we can work with that.

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-Well dear, you work with it cuz I'm out of ideas!

Frances said...

Catching up with you. I am close to clear too, but I have never turned orange. Poor Anna!