Tuesday, August 27, 2013
No Really Officer, It Was An Accident
Something really bad almost happened at my house. I would call it, a series of unfortunate events. Or maybe, how my cat like reflexes saved the day. Maybe, I will let you decide. It was so bad that I'm willing to write about it. Hell who am I kidding, I will write about anything.
Den was making lunch for us. Bless him. He was making egg, basil, roasted red pepper, croissant sandwiches. Yes, he really just gets in the mood to cook something wonderful. Again, bless him. When I cook, you get thinks named, "Sonya's slop." True story.
Anywho, Den was frying the eggs. I was unloading the dishwasher. See, I do things around here. I had a handful of utensils. One of which was our massive butcher knife. It stuck out the most. Remember this, it will come into play.
As dear Dennis was frying, the stove decided to surprise us with a massive grease fire. I have never seen a grease fire before. Let me just say that the flames were a jumpin'. And so was my husband. He threw himself backwards with quite a bit of force. Yup and there I was, blade in hand, as he hurled himself toward the knife that was perfectly positioned to impale him. And for the briefest of moments, I was too upset about the fire to realize Dennis was trying to kill himself while I was doing a simple chore.
In the end, I managed to throw myself backwards and point the blade away. It wasn't pretty folks but it worked.
Den shut off the stove and blew out the flames. He said that it happened quite often, when he worked at the restaurant. I then told him how he tried to kill himself and how the arresting officer would never have believed me.
He was this close ( ......................................) to impaling himself. And no one would have believed me. I'm sure that most of you would have sided with the arresting officer on this one.
So the moral of the story is..........................I shouldn't unload the dishwasher anymore.
Stocking up on plastic utensils,
Sonya-not a butcher-Ann