Friday, August 30, 2013

Fabulous Friday

This little gem is from Life Made Lovely! I love it over there. It's a lot of making something wonderful with the little that you have. Awesome. So putting baskets in adorable painted crates is PERFECT!
Have a wonderful weekend,
Sonya Ann

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Naughty Christmas

I got $3 from Pinecone. That's it. Boring, boring, boring! 
Here is the breakdown......................
$195.82  BP
$5            free check from magazines.com
$81          Pinecone research(surveys)
$75          Energy Plus(electricity rebate)
$160       Jewel(bonus for buying gift cards)
$13.20    Bank of America Add it up(Like Mr.Rebates/My Points)
$15          AutoZone rebate/visa card
$5            Amazon E-card from Recycle Bank
$8.40     Star Savings(Like My Points/Mr. Rebates)

$558.42  for Christmas 2013. 
And if you wanted to panic for me, I had $1031.93 last year at this time. Yeah, this is shit. We ended up with $1573.65 for Christmas shopping last year and we spent $1541.57. I have less than 4 months to come up with about $1000. I'm really not going to make it this year.
And with every turn it seems someone or something needs money. College tuition, my van needing rear breaks, DJ needing his wisdom teeth pulled TODAY(Say a prayer the tooth fairy is kind to the boy), which the damned insurance company will only pay for impacted teeth not ones that are poking through. Hell man, that is what teeth do, they poke through! Three poked through! Rat bastards! Oh and all the kids birthdays and wedding showers, we are giving gifts for!
Ok, now I'm flipping out. We are hemorrhaging money. To hell with Christmas, after adding it all up and draining my "funds" I will need to panhandle.
Contemplating removing his wisdom teeth myself,
Sonya Ann

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

No Really Officer, It Was An Accident

First, I want to say that I totally creeped myself out while hunting for a bloody knife picture. Nightmares, here I come. Some people have issues, really deep seeded issues. And I'm not referring to myself this time. Who knew that was possible?
Something really bad almost happened at my house. I would call it, a series of unfortunate events. Or maybe, how my cat like reflexes saved the day. Maybe, I will let you decide. It was so bad that I'm willing to write about it. Hell who am I kidding, I will write about anything.
Den was making lunch for us. Bless him. He was making egg, basil, roasted red pepper, croissant sandwiches. Yes, he really just gets in the mood to cook something wonderful. Again, bless him. When I cook, you get thinks named, "Sonya's slop." True story.
Anywho, Den was frying the eggs. I was unloading the dishwasher. See, I do things around here. I had a handful of utensils. One of which was our massive butcher knife. It stuck out the most. Remember this, it will come into play.
As dear Dennis was frying, the stove decided to surprise us with a massive grease fire. I have never seen a grease fire before. Let me just say that the flames were a jumpin'. And so was my husband. He threw himself backwards with quite a bit of force. Yup and there I was, blade in hand, as he hurled himself toward the knife that was perfectly positioned to impale him. And for the briefest of moments, I was too upset about the fire to realize Dennis was trying to kill himself while I was doing a simple chore. 
In the end, I managed to throw myself backwards and point the blade away. It wasn't pretty folks but it worked.
Den shut off the stove and blew out the flames. He said that it happened quite often, when he worked at the restaurant. I then told him how he tried to kill himself and how the arresting officer would never have believed me.
He was this close ( ......................................) to impaling himself. And no one would have believed me. I'm sure that most of you would have sided with the arresting officer on this one.
So the moral of the story is..........................I shouldn't unload the dishwasher anymore.
Stocking up on plastic utensils,
Sonya-not a butcher-Ann

Monday, August 26, 2013

Dusty Bubbles

I think Dusty Bubbles would be an awesome porn name. Just think of the title-Dusty Bubbles Blows Again. Just a thought! Yup, I started with naughty. Sometimes I like to ease into it, other times BAM, right to porn. You like it that way.
Anyways, I made homemade laundry soap. From porn to soap. Well after the porn, you probably need the soap. Stop it Sonya, stop it!

I looked up some homemade laundry soap recipes and I decided that I would wing it instead of following an actual recipe. I walk on the wild side.
That is what 4 bars of Ivory look like after you microwave them. I made soap clouds. Much easier than grating them. To make Ivory soap clouds, cut them in quarters and then microwave for 30-ish seconds.
This is what a clean kitty litter bucket filled with soap clouds looks like.
So dump 1 container of Gain power-crystal thingies in with the soap, 1 box of Borax(thanks Frances!), and 1 large bag of washing soda. And stir! This is the dusty part. Cough, cough!
I think this is what they call the money shot. The finished product! That's a lot of laundry soap for a very little effort. And it works GREAT!
Off to write a porn,
Sonya-looking for a porn name-Ann




Friday, August 23, 2013

Fabulous Friday

From Radical Possibilities
Homemade tie die pillows! This sounds like a project that I need to do with Anna or maybe as the Thanksgiving project! It seems soooo easy. So easy that I could do it! Jump on over to Radical Possibilities and check out the post.
Seriously I will do this,
Sonya Ann

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Strung Out

Isn't he cute? Yeah, he had us all fooled. I don't want to gossip but I think he might have a drug problem.
He's lost his damned mind or is on drugs.
He looks a bit strung out to me.
He's still a little cute though.
I tried to get a cute shot of him and he wasn't interested. So this was the best that I could do.
And this is a close up of his nose. He just isn't cooperating.
Someone else is a bit jealous and is in need of a diet.
Searching for catnip,
Sonya Ann







Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Female Problems

 It's alright to talk about those things here. It really is, you are safe. I know its hard to talk about girl problems but we should. So I'll start the conversation. "Hi my name is Sonya and I was having a female problem. I'm sure that many of you have had it before but were too ashamed to talk about. I was in need of a penis." See didn't that make it all better.
A male friend of mine was have a surgery on his boy parts. And that is all that I am going to say about it. So I felt the need to cheer him up. I'm a giver, what can I say. And I was desperate for an edible penis. 1 knock-off twinkie and 2 knock-off ding dongs and you get..........
My husband and son were quick to point out the fact that the ummmmm........ testicles were way too big. Feel free to cut your ding dongs down. I didn't see the need.
It's good to be my friend as you can see. Next time, I would frost the cake in chocolate and the male parts in white or pink. But feel free to change it up any way you see fit. This would also be great for a bachelorette party or the annual Christmas party.  Who needs to buy a penis cake pan when you have ding dongs and twinkies?
Had a penis pan in my day,
Sonya Ann


Monday, August 19, 2013

Cuz Sluggy Said So

Well, guess who I got to meet? No, really guess! I met Sluggy from DON'T READ THIS; IT'S BORING!
We had a blast. She stayed with us for two nights and we made the most of it. We went exploring and shopped a bit but not to fear we stayed at the outlet mall. Mr. Sluggy wanted to try a few of the local beers. We ended up at Uncle Mike's that has 250 different kinds. I didn't even know about the place until sluggy found it. I normally drink amaretto and cranberry juice. The lovely waitress said she had something better. Little did I know that it had three shots in it. Note to self, alcohol settles to the bottom of the glass-DON'T suck it all down in one gulp. I was thirsty, what can I say. 
And to end the night out right, sluggy figured out that we are cousins! Who would have guessed it?!?! She really is a genius with genealogy.  Bahahahaha, I typed gynecology first. No really, I'm sober. I just can't spell.
I really hope that we can do this again. It was a blast. She is a bit crazy with the video taping. I called her the paparazzi a few times. But it's ok to give each other shit, we are family-literally.
Think she will give me a loan,
Sonya Ann

Friday, August 16, 2013

Fabulous Friday

I have decided that we should skip Christmas all together and do Halloween twice! We need to plan for two Halloween parties. Yes, this sounds like a lot more fun.
I think I need to make this sign. Maybe I will put it in the frig. Anna would flip out for sure.
Behind you,
Sonya Ann

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Creepy Gambling

You are going to find this hard to believe but you can gamble in our small town of Antioch. Shocking! Especially if you consider the fact that we haven't sold everything that we have to keep up our habit. We went for the first time ever and gave it a shot. It was kind of odd since it was just a little room off of the bar in our local hotel and no one was in there. The bartender stood behind us and watched. He was nice but it was weird. He said that he has nothing to do during the day. He did cheer us on so it made it more fun. But it was a bit odd.
It was nothing like Vegas but my luck was the same in town as it is at every other casino I have ever been in. I can lose money with the best of them! If you need tips on how to lose fast, I'm here for you. Den's luck was the same and he covered most of my loses. We gambled for a hour and we were down $14. So we did better than we usually do in the Chicago or Milwaukee casinos. I'm sure that we will probably try it again but with only 5 machines, I'm sure we will get bored with it. A few other places around town have 5 machines each too. They aren't allowed to have more than 5 machines. Why man, why?
And that is exciting as it gets here in our little town! Maybe we will invite my in-laws over and take them from bar to bar to gamble. Maybe if we drink enough, we will think that it is Vegas.
Closer to home habit,
Sonya Ann

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wicked Wednesday

In honor of all the little shits going back to school! But why is it I still find the bad boy attitude so nice? Never mind, I'm way too old to be thinking like that!
Happy Wednesday,
Sonya Ann

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Slight and Tortured Bounty

This was our latest quicky project. Ok fine, it was Den's latest quicky project. He built a bamboo lattice for the cucumbers. I said that it reminded me of something from a Vietnamese prison camp. Which seems a bit scary to me. I have scary food.
Yes, it really is cucumbers. The other odd thing that was growing in front of the cucumbers were weeds. I really don't have a clue.
It may look like a mess on the side of the garage but it isn't.
I DID IT! I have cherry tomatoes and cukes. Be jealous, y'all!
And this hateful mess is dill. It will be leaving soon. But before it has to go, I'm thinking I will use my cucumber, some dill and my tomatoes and make a salad. Mind you, I will have enough for three bites but hey, I still did it!
Off to stare at my green thumb,
Sonya Ann




Monday, August 12, 2013

A Number 3

I know what a #1 is and I know what a #2 is but what would a #3 be? See isn't this better than talking about boring Christmas money?
Ok I got an entire $3 from Pinecone Research. So that was the new #3.
Just to lull you to sleep..................
$195.82  BP
$5            free check from magazines.com
$78          Pinecone research(surveys)
$75          Energy Plus(electricity rebate)
$160       Jewel(bonus for buying gift cards)
$13.20    Bank of America Add it up(Like Mr.Rebates/My Points)
$15          AutoZone rebate/visa card
$5            Amazon E-card from Recycle Bank
$8.40     Star Savings(Like My Points/Mr. Rebates)

$555.42  for Christmas 2013. 

Off to contemplate,
Sonya Ann

Friday, August 9, 2013

Fabulous Friday

Don't lawn dominoes sound like a BLAST! It's 1x4s, stained and painted. This would also make a great housewarming gift.
I would love to have a set of these. It would be so much fun. Mind you at most of my parties, people would be too drunk after an hour to stand in the yard and play. One of our parties, badminton almost became a contact sport. This shit really happens at my house and quite often.
Thinking about wood and alcohol,
Sonya Ann

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Crazy Busy or Just Crazy



I took this picture with my phone while I was sweating. Just pretend that it is a good picture.
On top of everything else going on here, we managed to find time to clean out the garage. It has been a very cold summer but the day that it hit 110 with the heat index was the day that we tore the garage apart. Believe it or not, the picture above is the after shot. I forgot about a before shot and to be honest, I will say just about anything but I'm not going to embarrass myself that bad by posting a picture of our nasty garage. Just imagine the local waste center taking a poop in the garage. Yeah, that's about right.
It is going to take forever to get rid of all of this trash. I keep telling Den that it looks like the house was abandoned and a crew came and cleaned it out and is getting it ready to be put on market.
And that's all I got,
Sonya Ann

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wicked Wednesday

You are going to have to watch this twice. It's naughty and then kinda smart. Yeah, that doesn't happen often at this blog. It's mostly low-brow. But the weird thing is you keep coming back. Why?
Questioning your motives or sanity,
Sonya Ann

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Apocalyptic Santa

All I want to know is how Santa has the money to finance a war? How did he slip under our radar for so long?
I got a massive $25.35 from BP. They are paying me well or robbing me well, depending on how you want to look at it. We get 5% back on all gas purchases. I choose to look at the positive. The good thing is we don't carry a balance on any of our credit cards, they aren't making any money off of us that way.
Back to the boring.......................
$195.82  BP
$5            free check from magazines.com
$75          Pinecone research(surveys)
$75          Energy Plus(electricity rebate)
$160       Jewel(bonus for buying gift cards)
$13.20    Bank of America Add it up(Like Mr.Rebates/My Points)
$15          AutoZone rebate/visa card
$5            Amazon E-card from Recycle Bank
$8.40     Star Savings(Like My Points/Mr. Rebates)

$552.42  for Christmas 2013. 

I do have $250 in points on my Bank of America credit card. I'm going to wait for a while to see if I can earn a bit more before I cash them in. And I found the gift card from Amazon that I lost. Star Savings keeps a copy of the card numbers in your account. See if I would just keep looking instead of complaining, I would get more done!
Off to bitch,
Sonya Ann

Monday, August 5, 2013

What's Happening



This is Anna's new place. I didn't post about it because I am slow, busy and behind. Yup, that's about right.

This is a pretty posh college place. She has two roommates chipping in on the rent. And it is cheaper than her last place and way nicer. They even have an island in the kitchen!

This is the living room where many parties nights of studying will be happening.
Her bedroom is tiny but she has two small closets so that should help.
She didn't have a bed so her boss at the apartment complex that she works for, told her about Americanfreight.com. I was really shocked at how nice everything was and how cheap the prices were. The bad news, I had to drive a hour and a half with a box spring tied to the tops of my van. My nerves were shot. Why do people feel the need to tailgate someone with their hazards on, in the slow lane, with a box spring on the top of their van? Why man, why?

This is Anna's kitten Sue.
And this is Sue meeting Harry. Anna couldn't find a home for him and then was upset that no one would love him like she does. Yeah, I know I'm a sucker.
You couldn't have said no either so I don't even want to hear about it. He's so little and cute. And he likes to bite DJ, what more could I ask for?
Happy about our addition,
Sonya Ann






Friday, August 2, 2013

Fabulous Friday

I was poking around on Pinterest again and found some pictures of duct tape folding chairs. I have four chairs that were my Grandmothers and I think this would be an awesome thing to do. They are sturdy as hell but have seen better days. I feel a project coming on.
Taped and bound,
Sonya Ann

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Christmas Rush

That is a naughty boy. It reminds me of the time that Den had his wisdom teeth out and it took four times the amount of anesthesia. He was gone. When we got in the truck, he said for me to tell the tooth fairy that he wanted a blow job and a new truck. DJ is getting his wisdom teeth out soon. I hope that he doesn't say something bad. Knowing him he will just complain and blame me for something. It's always an adventure here.
Anywho, back to the Christmas money. I got a massive $6 from Pinecone research. I know you are on the edge of your seat every time I talk about Christmas money. 
So this is the tally thus far.........................

$170.47  BP
$5            free check from magazines.com
$75          Pinecone research(surveys)
$75          Energy Plus(electricity rebate)
$160       Jewel(bonus for buying gift cards)
$13.20    Bank of America Add it up(Like Mr.Rebates/My Points)
$15          AutoZone rebate/visa card
$5            Amazon E-card from Recycle Bank
$8.40     Star Savings(Like My Points/Mr. Rebates)

$527.07   for Christmas 2013. 

Too exciting for me or is it too sexy,
Sonya Ann