Monday, January 6, 2014


Son of a bitch. Yeah, I said it and I started a post with that. Damn it, why can't I have a normal life? WHY? Just answer the question.
Before we start this little adventure, go pee, change the clothes over to the dryer and get more coffee. It's going to be one of those posts.
This little adventure happened the end of 2013 but I wasn't ok with it for a little while. Oh yeah, and as we speak I'm giving the middle finger to 2013 as I drive away. It wasn't a stellar year.
While reading this I want you to understand a few thing, I love my husband and he is a good man. He literally saved me. I don't know why he thought that I was worth the effort but I will love that man forever. I believe in him and I believe in us. It is always easy to believe the worst in someone. Look past that first thought and you will truly see how deep this fucking rabbit hole goes. Yes, I said son of a bitch, damn it, and I dropped the F-bomb. It's that messed up.
It started with a flat tire and a coupon. Seems about right for my life, right? I needed to go to a mall that was a far drive for us since I had an AWESOME coupon that I could use it with ANOTHER coupon. Frugal heaven. But before we could get out of the damned driveway, I had a VERY VERY low tire. I would have filled it up at our house but Den lent out the air compressor. So DJ and I went to the first gas station and their air compressor was broke. So I had the pleasure of driving another few miles on that low tire. We made it and carried on. But I should given up right there.
The only good thing about that day was the fact that I scored an amazingly cute jacket and 2 tops. I'll look cute in the nut house or prison. It will be one or the other. It is just a matter of time.
DJ and I got along as well as can be expected of a 17 year old son with his Mother on a shopping excursion. I only raised my voice at him once and then we decided that we would meet up later. It was a wise decision for his sake.
On the ride home, we actually spoke. Yes, we spoke. It was nice. I don't get to glimpse that side of the boy very often. Life was going too good for me at this point, a conversation with the boy and new clothes set the devil off. I mean, who the fuck do I think I am? I can't be happy. This isn't allowed.
I pulled into the driveway just enough to get off of the street and jumped out to get the mail. Grabbed it and hopped back in the van.
I saw a card that I thought was a late Christmas card and tore into it. MISTAKE. It was a baby announcement congratulating me on my husband's new baby boy. My stomach dropped like I had swallowed a boulder. I felt dizzy and sick. My entire world and my life was overturned in one moment. Nothing I knew was real. Nothing that I had built in almost 20 years was stable. With clammy hands, I showed it to DJ. He shook his head.
I parked the van and drug my once prized clothes into the house. I was in a haze. I asked DJ to go to his room and I texted my best friend to come over. I needed help. Within a matter of minutes, she was giving me the most needed hug.
I talk non-stop. In fact, I can talk enough for at least two people maybe three on a good day. I have the tendency to scare people when I stop talking. It is that rare. Anna used to call it, the shit just got real, moments. Bless her trashy mouth.
My bestie is from England and she gave Scotland yard a run for their money or would it be pounds within a matter of minutes! She started pointing out flaws in the card left and right. It helped so much. She was a lifeline into the bleak hell that I was sinking into.
I'm not going to tip my hand until this is settled. BUT I will give you a few things that we have figured out. This was against Den not me. My name was spelled wrong if they knew me they would know my name. It was written as if English was their second language.
She promised that if he did cheat she would help me kill him. She also pointed out that no sane woman would want our husbands. I love her and she made me laugh through tears.
She left before Den got home and offered to remove all the knives out of the house. I told her she could take them because we have swords that I could use. She also made me promise that I would let him speak. It wasn't a problem because I wasn't in the mood to talk. Hard to believe, I know.
Poor man walked into a trap. He walked in the door and said hi. I nodded and asked him to sit down. He asked if he could put this things away(his lunch and papers). I replied no and asked him to take a seat.
I have to say that I have a knew found respect for the police. I would be beating a confession out of people left and right.
Den sat down and looked at me VERY worried. I stared blankly back at him.
Me-"I have one question that I need you to answer."
Den-looking very nervous
Me-"Have you ever cheated on me?"
Me-I'm studying him for any tells-"Have you ever cheated on me?"
Den-"No, I have never cheated on you."
I slide the card to him. He looks very, very confused at this point. He opens it and looks puzzled. and then I shit you not he says to me, "Who had a baby?"
You have no idea how hard it is to interrogate someone so stupid!
Me-in a condescending tone-"READ IT AGAIN!"
Den-"But I don't know anyone that had a baby!"
Me-"Dennis, you had a baby!"
Den-"DJ is..."
Dennis isn't stupid but this one was just not sinking in. So I caught him up to speed and I told him that I talked with my bestie and she thinks that it is bullshit and someone wants to tear apart our marriage.
Den was furious. The thought that someone would try to ruin his marriage didn't set well with him. 
After he calmed down and I was convinced that he had not cheated, we started trying to piece it together. He decided that it came from his work and that he was going to his boss with it the next day.
Den is normally the first or second person at work. And it gave him enough time to talk to his boss alone. He asked him if there had been any complaints about him lately and his boss said no. Den started to hand the card to his boss and his boss said, "Not this shit again." Yup, we weren't the first person this has happened to.
What kind of a person is so hateful that they would try to tear apart a marriage? I try never to hurt anyone's feelings, ever. I'm a lover. I would never hurt anyone and for the life of me, I will never ever understand that level of cruelty. I have never been able to understand why someone would show hatred when kindness is so much easier and lighter on the soul.
But I did realize a few wonderful things because of this. The depth of darkness that I felt when I thought that I lost my husband is a wonderful gauge of my love for him. I have an amazing best friend. Not only does she have a wonderful accent, she made sense of a messed up situation and pulled me back from hell. She also promised to help me kill Den if it was true. That is a true friend. My bestie's husband is Den's best mate. And he came forward and admitted to fathering Den's baby.
My life is completely fucked up. I try to do the right thing but messed up situations follow me. Guess what, I love my fucked up life. I'm so blessed. And I'm still funny-go back and read the title again. Bahahahaha!
Can't wait to read the comments,
Sonya Ann
PS-If someone thinks that they are having a bad day send them here, I have them beat!


PAPS said...

wow what a story. Did they catch the person who was sending these letters? How sick is this person? I hope this person faces the same shit in his/her life.

slugmama said...

So this was an elaborate prank dreamed up by Den's bestie and your bestie?
I always knew the English were sick mother fockers...just like us! LOLZ


Sonya Ann said...

PAPS-No one has been caught. I just can't imagine how someone thought this up. I hope you are right that it comes back to get them.

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-I wish it was a joke. I just hope that the person that did this gets caught. They are a miserable human being.

McVal said...

There is a HISTORY of this going around??? I thought for sure that maybe gave someone totally the wrong address of the wrong Den & Sonya... I mean it's happened before! Not with you two! But I've sent a Christmas letter to some people with almost the same names as a cousin and his wife before. What a sick sick world we live in! I hope it comes back to bite them. After the 1st couple paragraphs I almost picked up the phone to call you without reading the rest.

slugmama said...

Now I AM it wasn't a prank by Bestie and her hubs?
*scratches head*

Oh, now I hope you never find out who did this cuz I don't want to have to come visit you in jail next time. ;-)

ChiTown Girl said...

Oh my fucking hell!!! This had my stomach in knots for most of the posts. What kind of sick assbag does something like that?!?!?!

I'm so sorry someone did this to you guys. I hope karma gets this piece of garbage.


Sonya Ann said...

McVal-That is the most screwed up thing of this entire story. We weren't the first person this happened to.
And feel free to call me. We can write a list of what we want to do to people.

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-No it wasn't a prank. This has happened a few times at Den's work. Someone was trying to break up our marriage. Den's buddy was just trying to be funny.

Sonya Ann said...

ChiTown Girl-My life will never be boring! I often worry about running out of things to write about and then I remember that it is my life and that should be the least of my worries.

j said...

You want me and sluggy should get in the car and come help you kick the shit out of someone? Who does something like that!!

slugmama said...

What a sad sad sorry dirtbag to have to get their jollies by attempting to break up someone's marriage. Hell, marriages are hard enough without that sort of thing to keep 'em together! lol

So it's some sicko at Den's job doing this?
I hope you saved the envelope....they can get dna from their spit, if they licked that to seal it. I think that's one of the ways they got the Unibomber or someone who sent anthrax in the mail after 9/11 or something.
Tell Den's boss he should announce to the workplace about this and say they know who it is through testing the spit on the envie seal but if that person comes forward now they won't reveal who it is to everyone. Maybe that asshat will get scared enough and give themselves up so his boss can fire his sorry ass and then you can sue them for mental distress and anguish.
I'm sorry this happened.....

mama .bonnie said...

If this was a joke, it's not funny.
Sick bastard........

Frances said...

SonyaAnn, just take the lesson from this and always trust Den over anyone else. Until you find out he is lying, of course.

I am glad you have a bestie close enough to give you a hug and offer to help you kill Den if needed.

Donna said...

Jesus wept. What is WRONG with people?
I'm sorry you guys had to go through this.
Somebody is going to find out -- maybe not tomorrow, or even a year from now -- that karma is a real bitch.

Hawaii Planner said...

I'm livid on your behalf. What a completely jacked up, disgusting thing to do.Seriously.

Sonya Ann said...

j-If I find out who did it, there will be a long line of people waiting to beat his/her ass!

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-I'll tip my hat a little. Everyone thinks that it is one of the women in Den's department. They made her a boss and then took it away. She is as hateful as they come and she blames Den for a lot of the problems. And the kicker is she is being sticky sweet now as before she would yell at him. Den's boss even said it looked like her handwriting.

Sonya Ann said...

mama-It wasn't a joke. They were trying to ruin our marriage. It will take more than an anonymous card do ruin us. We didn't even fight but I did interrogate him. LOL.

Sonya Ann said...

Frances-It was just a sick and twisted thing to do. I just can't understand it. My life is hard enough I would never even dream of messing with someones marriage.

Sonya Ann said...

Donna-Den said that someone that thinks like that is already trapped in hell.

Sonya Ann said...

Hawaii Planner-Thank you for having my back!

lifeisfullofsunnydays said...

Girl you can never say that your life is dull. You should write a book.
I must confess that I chuckled at the thought of you explaining to Den that he cheated and had a baby. Poor man.
On a serious note, the not again comment from Den's boss is beyond creepy.
I'm glad this didn't do any "real" damage in your life. People are messed up and need help. Karma is a funny thing. Rest assured that it will come back in spades to who ever did this.

Sonya Ann said...

lifeisfullofsunnydays-His boss was asking about it again today. No break in the case as of yet.
I wonder if they will ever catch this POS. And I wonder how many people they have done this too. Sad.
I was so frustrated with Den when I was trying to interrogate him. Kind of shows he didn't do it. If he did have a kid with someone else, he would have caught on. He thought someone sent a card for DJ and he is turning 18. LOL