Monday, January 6, 2014
SON OF A
Son of a bitch. Yeah, I said it and I started a post with that. Damn it, why can't I have a normal life? WHY? Just answer the question.
Before we start this little adventure, go pee, change the clothes over to the dryer and get more coffee. It's going to be one of those posts.
This little adventure happened the end of 2013 but I wasn't ok with it for a little while. Oh yeah, and as we speak I'm giving the middle finger to 2013 as I drive away. It wasn't a stellar year.
While reading this I want you to understand a few thing, I love my husband and he is a good man. He literally saved me. I don't know why he thought that I was worth the effort but I will love that man forever. I believe in him and I believe in us. It is always easy to believe the worst in someone. Look past that first thought and you will truly see how deep this fucking rabbit hole goes. Yes, I said son of a bitch, damn it, and I dropped the F-bomb. It's that messed up.
It started with a flat tire and a coupon. Seems about right for my life, right? I needed to go to a mall that was a far drive for us since I had an AWESOME coupon that I could use it with ANOTHER coupon. Frugal heaven. But before we could get out of the damned driveway, I had a VERY VERY low tire. I would have filled it up at our house but Den lent out the air compressor. So DJ and I went to the first gas station and their air compressor was broke. So I had the pleasure of driving another few miles on that low tire. We made it and carried on. But I should given up right there.
The only good thing about that day was the fact that I scored an amazingly cute jacket and 2 tops. I'll look cute in the nut house or prison. It will be one or the other. It is just a matter of time.
DJ and I got along as well as can be expected of a 17 year old son with his Mother on a shopping excursion. I only raised my voice at him once and then we decided that we would meet up later. It was a wise decision for his sake.
On the ride home, we actually spoke. Yes, we spoke. It was nice. I don't get to glimpse that side of the boy very often. Life was going too good for me at this point, a conversation with the boy and new clothes set the devil off. I mean, who the fuck do I think I am? I can't be happy. This isn't allowed.
I pulled into the driveway just enough to get off of the street and jumped out to get the mail. Grabbed it and hopped back in the van.
I saw a card that I thought was a late Christmas card and tore into it. MISTAKE. It was a baby announcement congratulating me on my husband's new baby boy. My stomach dropped like I had swallowed a boulder. I felt dizzy and sick. My entire world and my life was overturned in one moment. Nothing I knew was real. Nothing that I had built in almost 20 years was stable. With clammy hands, I showed it to DJ. He shook his head.
I parked the van and drug my once prized clothes into the house. I was in a haze. I asked DJ to go to his room and I texted my best friend to come over. I needed help. Within a matter of minutes, she was giving me the most needed hug.
I talk non-stop. In fact, I can talk enough for at least two people maybe three on a good day. I have the tendency to scare people when I stop talking. It is that rare. Anna used to call it, the shit just got real, moments. Bless her trashy mouth.
My bestie is from England and she gave Scotland yard a run for their money or would it be pounds within a matter of minutes! She started pointing out flaws in the card left and right. It helped so much. She was a lifeline into the bleak hell that I was sinking into.
I'm not going to tip my hand until this is settled. BUT I will give you a few things that we have figured out. This was against Den not me. My name was spelled wrong if they knew me they would know my name. It was written as if English was their second language.
She promised that if he did cheat she would help me kill him. She also pointed out that no sane woman would want our husbands. I love her and she made me laugh through tears.
She left before Den got home and offered to remove all the knives out of the house. I told her she could take them because we have swords that I could use. She also made me promise that I would let him speak. It wasn't a problem because I wasn't in the mood to talk. Hard to believe, I know.
Poor man walked into a trap. He walked in the door and said hi. I nodded and asked him to sit down. He asked if he could put this things away(his lunch and papers). I replied no and asked him to take a seat.
I have to say that I have a knew found respect for the police. I would be beating a confession out of people left and right.
Den sat down and looked at me VERY worried. I stared blankly back at him.
Me-"I have one question that I need you to answer."
Den-looking very nervous
Me-"Have you ever cheated on me?"
Me-I'm studying him for any tells-"Have you ever cheated on me?"
Den-"No, I have never cheated on you."
I slide the card to him. He looks very, very confused at this point. He opens it and looks puzzled. and then I shit you not he says to me, "Who had a baby?"
You have no idea how hard it is to interrogate someone so stupid!
Me-in a condescending tone-"READ IT AGAIN!"
Den-"But I don't know anyone that had a baby!"
Me-"Dennis, you had a baby!"
Me-"FOR GOD'S SAKE DENNIS, YOU CHEATED ON ME AND HAD A BABY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!"
Den-"WHAT THE FUCK!"
Dennis isn't stupid but this one was just not sinking in. So I caught him up to speed and I told him that I talked with my bestie and she thinks that it is bullshit and someone wants to tear apart our marriage.
Den was furious. The thought that someone would try to ruin his marriage didn't set well with him.
After he calmed down and I was convinced that he had not cheated, we started trying to piece it together. He decided that it came from his work and that he was going to his boss with it the next day.
Den is normally the first or second person at work. And it gave him enough time to talk to his boss alone. He asked him if there had been any complaints about him lately and his boss said no. Den started to hand the card to his boss and his boss said, "Not this shit again." Yup, we weren't the first person this has happened to.
What kind of a person is so hateful that they would try to tear apart a marriage? I try never to hurt anyone's feelings, ever. I'm a lover. I would never hurt anyone and for the life of me, I will never ever understand that level of cruelty. I have never been able to understand why someone would show hatred when kindness is so much easier and lighter on the soul.
But I did realize a few wonderful things because of this. The depth of darkness that I felt when I thought that I lost my husband is a wonderful gauge of my love for him. I have an amazing best friend. Not only does she have a wonderful accent, she made sense of a messed up situation and pulled me back from hell. She also promised to help me kill Den if it was true. That is a true friend. My bestie's husband is Den's best mate. And he came forward and admitted to fathering Den's baby.
My life is completely fucked up. I try to do the right thing but messed up situations follow me. Guess what, I love my fucked up life. I'm so blessed. And I'm still funny-go back and read the title again. Bahahahaha!
Can't wait to read the comments,
PS-If someone thinks that they are having a bad day send them here, I have them beat!