Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Greek Turkey Mashup

This past weekend started out odd. This is a very bad picture of a turkey on our garage. Yes a turkey. I was in the kitchen cooking(that statement should scare you) and Den was looking outside at all the things that needed to be done. He said, things are so boring around here. To which I said, every time someone wishes for excitement, its a BAD THING!
I realized I forgot something for dinner and started downstairs to retrieve it and as I was in the front room something extraordinarily fucked up caught my eye. There was a very large woman with no shoes on, sweat pants that had seen better days and were rolled up, with an undershirt on that was WAY, WAY, WAY too tight, hauling ass down our driveway into our backyard.
I went back into the kitchen and told Den that someone was there to see him. And then I shit you not a massive turkey came running into our yard. The barefooted woman was CHASING A TURKEY. Well, now I have seen everything. In the end, all she wanted to do was take a picture. But for the life of me chasing it down didn't seem like a good idea. Or that outfit. Or the fact that she was running like a lunatic into people's yards. Or running without shoes on.
Bet this one has never happened at your house! And Den got in trouble for wishing for excitement.
On Saturday, Den decided that our bathroom's days are numbered. My frugal self always cringes when he comes up with a plan.
We went to Hobo. Its a discount warehouse sort of thing. Everything is a lot cheaper. Den likes this tile but I think it looks too much like the kitchen tile.
It's in a really bad neighborhood. Like duck and weave to get into the building sort of place. Its so bad that they have to lock up the small tile. How nuts is that?
We also decided to splurge and get a new runner for the front room. Look carefully at the sign on the left. We decided that a runnr ass wasn't for us though.
This was a purchase that I poo-pooed. Den wanted to buy a few orange jumps suits for our heavy drinking nights parties. He thought it would be a good idea for everyone to wear a jumpsuit and then perhaps take a long walk through our neighborhood at night. Seems like it would be a good way to get your skull thumped by a cop.
He also told me not to use his real name while in the store for safety reasons. He wanted me to call him Carlos Spicy Weener. I called him Mr. Weener most of the day.
We went to the liquor store to stock up on alcohol for Greek Easter and then went to our local vineyard. It's called Vigneto del Bino and it is owned by the Trombino family. They must be Polish.
This was my first wine tasting ever. Let me just tell you that I had class and sophistication eking out of my butt that day. That said, it was wonderful and relaxing. We will be sure to do this again. It was about $18 a bottle which is way higher than my normal $3 Boones but it was really good.
Here is a shot of our new runner. And we also bought some trim for in the kitchen. We are just now finishing it after about 10 years. Way to go us.
Den said,"We bought liquor, trim and carpet." And then he laughed like a 13 year old boy. This is what I'm dealing with people.
This is a shot of the cabinets with the trim being installed. I think there are times when Den wants me to help instead of snapping pictures.
Sunday was Greek Easter. Its so much fun and highly intoxicating. Our neighbor across the street and one down throws a bash every year. Thank God it is so close because there is no way that we would make it home if it was more than a few steps.
Every year they put bread on one of the kid's head and pour wine on the bread as a blessing. Then everyone takes a piece of it. They also tell everyone about some of the Greek traditions and sayings. Its a good thing that they do the blessing in the beginning. An hour later and everyone is smashed beyond belief.
This is Den with one of the MANY bottles of Metaxa that are passed around. One year, they had DJ so smashed. They kept telling DJ that it was rude to all Greeks if he didn't take a drink. I asked what age do Greek children start drinking at and they said they can drink as soon as they can walk. So I guess about 2.
The food was amazing. They said that you can't leave the house hungry or sober. Mission accomplished. 

Then for another Greek tradition. The Greek pyramid. Oh and the more they drink the more naughty jokes they tell about little boys. SO FUNNY!
The men on the bottom decided that the women should be on the second level but I said, no way you just want us on top of you. Everyone laughed. No women joined in.
They just kept snagging little kids and throwing them on top. They don't seem to care about their children's safety much.
And last but not least, I got another $15 from Pinecone research.
So we have..............
$45         Pinecone Research
$69.59    BP
For a total of $114.59!!!

And I think I'm done for the day. Maybe next weekend we will just rest. Probably not but I doubt that we will have a crazy woman running down our driveway after a turkey. Wait, it might be me.
Glad its over,
Sonya Ann


slugmama said...

Good god woman....didn't you recognize me running down your driveway!?!

I've never had Metaxa. I guess you recommend it? lolz

We need to find you the Boone's Farm tasting room, don't we? Maybe my next trip over....

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-Oh this woman was a mess, the likes of which we have never seen.
No I wouldn't recommend it. It was evil. SO evil.
Yes, Boone's Farm needs to be included in a road trip.

Rachel said...

Oh my...I think that is all I have to say about the turkey story.

The Greek Easter party looks like a blast.

Have a great week.

Sonya Ann said...

Rachel-Thank you. I'm sure now that Greek Easter is over everything will calm down. Unless the turkey comes back.

MiserlyMac said...

The turkey made me laugh since that's what I'm cooking for dinner tonight! I love that runner, I need a new one since winter wrecked mine.
The Greek party looked like great fun,I love Greek food too.

slugmama said...

I've been to your house two times now.....how come you've never take me to HOBO?!?!
You are holding out on me SA.....

Practical Parsimony said...

My weekend was just so boring that I cannot even talk about it now. My uncle was Greek Orthodox. He was a fun uncle but my mother would not have let us near him if this is a typical Greek celebration.

I wonder how the turkey got loose or got into your neighborhood.

People probably talk about me when I have to go catch chickens. The hens like to sit in the front or back window of the car. I guess they think they are close to freedom.

Anne in the kitchen said...

This was a great story to read and I am having trouble figuring out which part I like best. It is currently between the turkey chaser, Mr. Weener, and Greek children being flung on a human pyramid by spirited Greek's celebrating Easter. At the last Supper after he took bread and broke it didn't Jesus say "Oh yeah and be sure to remember the flinging kids on the pyramid part"

Elephant's Child said...

Oh dear. You have got me wondering what people see (and say) when I do my mad woman with camera dances. I don't go into anyone else's yard though. No shoes often though. And I am not a stylish dresser. Slinking off in shame.
There is a Chinese curse 'May you live in interesting times...' which I have always thought was a very, very scary one.

Frances said...

I kept wondering if you were going to tell us that the turkey was now living in your freezer.

Carlos Spicy Weener is now my favorite name!

Jane said...

I can't stop giggling over the runnr ass!! You guys sure know how to have a good time! I feel drunk after reading that post!

We are: Clamco said...

I think this is the craziest post I've ever read. Too funny and with just the right amount of profanity. It almost made me feel like I was back in NY. lol.

Anna said...

Wow that looks like a great party. Wish I had been there. Our houses here are built around a small island so every year we have a "clean up the island". It really doesn't take long and the whole place looks nice again. THEN the 20-odd houses get together and have a pot-luck lunch together. Great fun. One year, my ex hooked up the trailer to his car and all the men were taking turns sitting in the trailer and paddling away with an oar while riding round the island! I guess you had to be there - but it sure was fun at the time.

Love your blog by the way. Anna

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-HOBO is a scary place. As in, I hide behind Den most of the time. You deserve better, I'll take you to Menards.

Sonya Ann said...

MiserlyMac-Well, if you had been at my house, you could have caught your dinner. Den said he thinks she was trying to catch it to kill it. No one chase a turkey to get a picture.

Sonya Ann said...

Practical Parsimony-Greeks get a bit crazy. My grandparents neighbor's were Greek. My grandmother was very prim and proper but by the time they were done with her, she was trashed. It was quite funny.
I would love to see your chickens in the back window. Sort of like a bobble head.

Sonya Ann said...

Anne in the kitchen-Jesus might have done that but I'm not sure. LOL
It was a crazy weekend even by our standards. Monday Den and I were both dragging ass. He decided that from now on he is taking the Monday off after Greek Easter. And he isn't even Greek! I can't imagine the kind of mess that he will be. One of the cousins of the man that throws the party, said that they don't have the party on a Saturday so that the men control themselves because they have to work the next day. I know this was rude but I blurted out, "This is control?!?!" As all the guys were falling down drunk. And she said , yes, they were controlling themselves. Holy hell.

Sonya Ann said...

Elephant's Child-I think the Chinese may have cursed me!
Honey, you have no idea what this woman looked like. I promise you with all of my heart, you don't look like her. She looked like something that had just escaped the mental institution. God only knows how long she was running for.

Sonya Ann said...

Frances-We should call you Mrs. Carlos Spicy Weener.
No wild turkey for me. Isn't that a whiskey?

Sonya Ann said...

Jane-No one leaves my blog sober!
We decided we didn't want a runnr ass.

Sonya Ann said...

We are: Clamco-You were actually in Chicago. ;p
There are just somethings you can't make up. Really, I live this shit. Was that enough or too much? ;p

Sonya Ann said...

Anna-Thank you so much for coming to visit me! And I'm so glad that I didn't scare you off. You must be a tough one.
I think that I would fit in perfectly at your cleanup party. The real question is, do you have to go back the next day and pick up beer cans?

Cheapchick said...

Somehow I missed this post. Are you sure you didn't see the chick chasing the turkey the night of Greek Easter? Seems you might have been a wee bit intoxicated :) I don't think I would want a runnr ass in my house either

Sonya Ann said...

Cheapchick-I couldn't see the night of Greek Easter. Everything was a bit fuzzy.