Thursday, April 9, 2015

The World's Easiest Diet!

I have to tell you first that I'm not getting one penny for this endorsement and secondly, I'm not sure that it will work for you. I'm just telling you what has happened with me. Look, we established that I should only be half listened too a long time ago. It may work or you might end up damaged and the police might get involved. Hey, I had someone call the police on me while having a party with kids here. Not to fear, when they walked into the backyard, I made the announcement that the entertainment had arrived. Then I offered them both a beer. Hey, I really am a nice person. They politely pointed out that they were on duty. I apologized and then offered them two beers. The shit that comes out of my mouth, I swear. No really, I swear and I'm shocked by the shit that I say. I have the same surprised look on my face that everyone else usually does. I can't control it and I get no advanced warning.
Anyways, it looks like another post that I will be jumping from one random thing to another. We should all be used to that by now.
Ok, where was I going with this? Ahhhhh yes, Den snores like a MOFO. It's terrible. He is a soft spoken person until he gets in bed then he's so loud. I personally have come to the conclusion that he isn't really a quiet person, he just has no voice left from snoring all night. He also likes to point out that I snore. To which I say, you have to sleep to snore. We have tried pills, sprays and the only thing that helped was using two pillows. It helped but the minute his head moved off the second pillow, he was snoring and I was back to plotting his death.
Then I ordered the snore guards. And overnight it was a whole new world. And after a month and a half, I had lost 10 pounds and HAVE DONE NOT A DAMNED THING!
There are a few things that you need to know about using them. You have to boil them and CAREFULLY mold them. As soon as it starts to melt, pop that sucker in your mouth. You will need to align your bottom jaw with your top teeth. While it is still hot, push it against your teeth with your tongue while biting down. Also pull in your lips and push on them with your fingers to help get a better mold in front. It's a lot to do at once but it will help you get a better fit. Den and I both had a bit of jaw pain for the first few days but it goes away. We also had sore spots on our gums for a couple of days. They will go away soon. And one last yucky thing, you are going to drool terribly in the beginning. Sleep with a washcloth. Den and I have been married for so long that a little drooling doesn't even phase us.
Now on to the best part, I'm losing weight and doing nothing. Plus, I feel much better when I wake up. I think what was happening was I was so tired I was eating more and craving carbs. Once I felt refreshed, I didn't reach for that stuff as much. Will this keep up? I have no idea but just feeling refreshed is enough to continue on.
So if you are dieting and not losing weight, this might be a way to go. Hey, its something to try. Just make sure that you get one for your partner too. Share the fun, I always say.
Drooling,
Sonya Ann
PS-Our favorite Frances is having another giveaway!! She is on a roll I tell you! Stop over there and tell her to pick me!!!

24 comments:

slugmama said...

You lost weight because your sleep pattern was no longer being disrupted. Loss of sleep leads to lots of bad stuff(ask me how I know!lol)including stress levels which make your body produce cortisol, which adds weight to your middle.
Or maybe it's because you sleep more/better you drink less?

Either one sounds like a plausible explanation to me so you pick. 8-)

And I think you were born without a filter in your brain....the thing that stops what you think from coming out your mouth.
Either that or all the alcohol has destroyed it.
Or it's a family trait of the family line we share....yeah, that's it! ;-)

joe said...

Or you can do what I do and eat a bacon cheeseburger and still lose 3 pounds. With my high metabolism, everything works

joe said...

Hahahaahahaa

joe said...

Pizza makes me lose weight too

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-I can't believe what a difference there is. And I think it helps that Den isn't snoring as bad. He only wakes me up when he opens his mouth and spits the guard out. Then the fight starts to try and wake him up and shove it back in his mouth.
I would like to pick that I keep losing weight.
I think its a family trait. Not sure if its a good or bad trait. Guess it depends on which side you are on giving/receiving.

Sonya Ann said...

joe-I'll give you 3 pounds to lose for me.

Sonya Ann said...

joe-Someone is going to slap you.

Sonya Ann said...

joe-You are still braggin.

Cheapchick said...

How weird is that? Damn, I don't snore :)

Sonya Ann said...

Cheapchick-Do you think you could pick up the habit? LOL

We are: Clamco said...

I sleep well for a few hours and then I toss and turn the rest of the night. I give up and get out of bed at 3 am. When I feel sluggish during the day (which always happens), I reach for coffee and a couple of cookies, so I can see how getting a good night's sleep can help you lose weight. I always look to sugar and caffeine to perk me up. What I should do instead is just take a nap. That makes too much sense. lol

Sonya Ann said...

We are: Clamco-What about taking Melatonin when you wake up in the middle of the night? It will be out of your system by morning.
I just hope this keeps up.

Practical Parsimony said...

Maybe she should take melatonin when she goes to bed. It makes me stay asleep all night long except when I go to the bathroom. As we age, our bodies don't produce as much melatonin. Taking it at three in the morning could lead to a bit of melatonin hangover.

I don't snore. I don't sleep with anyone. However, I cannot sleep with snoring happening.

Poor sleep is a real cause of weight gain because the person is always reaching for something to bring her or him out of the sleep fog.

Elephant's Child said...

Sigh.
I had heard that sleep deprivation leads to weight gain.
And I am sleep deprived, and the Michelin Man could hide behind me.
Whatshisface does snore, but sadly I don't think he is (much of) the reason for my insomnia.

Anne in the kitchen said...

Crap! You mean I have been doing this paleo diet and all I had to do was buy a stupid snore gizmo! Well *&^% me!
Going to the drug store right now!

Jane said...

I don't think you're supposed to wear it when you're awake. However, I'd be willing to do that if it meant I lost 10 pounds. ;)
Oh, and Sonya Ann, I don't have ads on my blog yet. I'm trying but I keep having technical difficulties. But I still can't see yours!

Jenny Woolf said...

This is what I have been yearning for, the diet where you sleep and do nothing and don't cut down your food. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Frances said...

I have slept with a bite guard like that for years and none of them have helped me lose any weight. They have helped with the headaches caused by clenching my jaw all night.

Glad it helps you two to sleep and to lose weight.

Sonya Ann said...

Practical Parsimony-I save the melatonin for the middle of the night when I wake up. It seems to wear off very quickly with me.
I feel so much better, I can't even tell you.

Sonya Ann said...

Elephant's Child-Being tired all of the time is a miserable thing. I feel sorry for you. Maybe changing your diet would help. I don't know I would try different things and track your sleep patterns. Not that I know anything about how to help you. its just I know how miserable it is.

Sonya Ann said...

Anne in the kitchen-WOuldn't it be nice if it worked for everyone. But then what would you have to write about? Sleeping? Not as fun as your food.

Sonya Ann said...

Jane-Maybe Adsense hates Canadians? I think it is prejudice.
I haven't been wearing it during the day but that is a good idea. Maybe I can super glue it in.

Sonya Ann said...

Jenny Woolf-If you are gaining weight and dieting isn't working, I would try this. Dieting didn't help me at all and I was really starving. Just feeling better has helped so so much.

Sonya Ann said...

Frances-I slept with a mouth guard for years. The dentist made it for me. And it helped so much with the migraines that I would get from grinding my teeth. But that was only a guard for my upper teeth. The snore guard holds your bottom jaw forward. I'm also not grinding my teeth while using it. There is a difference between what I used. Is yours just a top piece?