Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Back I Am


I'm back and I'm sorry. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that emailed/called and was worried about me. It helped more than you know. I was not in a good place. I sort of fell apart and I'm normally the one that holds everything together. I even had Anna worried. That's how far I fell down the rabbit hole.
I promise that I will get caught up on everyone's lives. I missed you all terrible. It's just going to take some time. I'm working my way back to normal.
So what set me off, hmmmmm, let's see.
My FIL had surgery to remove his prostate. The surgery was unsuccessful. So he was mutilated and lost quite a bit of ground for no reason. He is now going to have radiation and estrogen shots. Maybe, they should have told him before he had the surgery that this could happen.
My MIL has/had skin cancer. And the doctor is a quack. We all know that I am a big mouth and keeping my opinion to myself has not been an easy thing. The doctor burns bits and pieces of her face off and then tells her that she needs a plastic surgeon and has more cancer on her face. The doctor has everyone worked into a frenzy. My MIL's family has prayer chains going and everyone is worked up. Ok, I have nothing against prayer chains or anything like that but the next time that my MIL goes to the doctor, the doctor forgets she said she still has cancer and then can't find it. My MIL keeps thanking Jesus that He "healed her" but in fact, the doctor seems a bit lost. Look, I'm not a doctor but I know enough TO KEEP NOTES. Even Den said, I think mom just has chapped lips.
Anna is now moving to Denver. The roommate that they are living with got a wonderful new job in Denver and they all decided to move. I'm glad that I didn't book flights to see her in CA. So her life plan is to follow their roommate from state to state.
DJ got a letter from the head of the accounting department at Ball State asking him to change his major to accounting. Some people post about their kids to brag, honestly, I'm just shocked that my kids don't pee when they walk. They both rode the short bus for quite some time. At least, he is moving up in the world. If he can get an internship next summer, it starts at $25/hr and rent and all expenses will be paid. So he may be better off than we are. We told him that we are proud of him and that we are going to have Anna move in with him. It would solve so many problems.
I'm a bit concerned with Den. They have 4 men in his department and the plant manager said that 2 of the guys could have 2 weeks off. The other guy that is left can't be concerned with working because his phone is more important. I'm trying not to make eye contact with him and I have stocked up on beer.
And just to keep my sanity, I was having a "what am I going to be, when I grow up" breakdown. My book did very poorly on Amazon. So I unpublished it and I'm going to go with my old publisher and have it come out in print. I also have quite a few books that are finished and just sitting there. I'm going to clean them up and have them printed too. It's not much of a profession/job but at least, I have something to show for time/life energy spent.
I have gotten quite a bit of yard work done though. So that is something, right?
Sort of ok,
Sonya Ann

28 comments:

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry! What a whirlwind you have been caught up in! I was extremely worried what happened to you, but we all need breaks. I had no idea! The sun will come out tomorrow?

Gill - That British Woman said...

oh dear me. If it doesn't rain it pours as they say. You do know these things are sent to test you, and so far you have passed the test. Lets hope that's it for now. Good to see you back.

Sonya Ann said...

Jennifer-I try not to post about miserable stuff but I sort of fell apart for a bit. I'm almost back to my old self again. Thank you so much for worrying baout me.

Sonya Ann said...

Gill - That British Woman-Thank you for thinking that I'm passing. It wasn't fun around here for a while.

Cheapchick said...

Darn glad you are back with us friend - we all have these dark times. Your in-laws health issues are darn troubling - maybe someone should escort her to the next appointment? I am sure that Dr could do much better if someone had a death-grip on his man-marbles. Might even correctly diagnose her! So sorry to hear the surgery with your Father-in-law didn't work. I just hope he is in not too much pain. You have all of us as friends - feel free to spout off any old time. Plus now you have a full beer fridge :)

MiserlyMac said...

I am so glad you are back!! I am so sorry about your in laws health issues and I will pray for them.

slugmama said...

You need to come hide out at my house.
I promise I won't make you clean or cook and I'll take you to the casino down the road from me.
And my garage is full of booze now so what are you waiting for? ;-)

rivulet said...

^ I'd take her up on that ^

I'm sorry you've hit a VERY rough patch, I'm sorry that I laughed really hard when you mentioned you're surprised your kids don't pee when they walk, but it's very good to hear from you. I think there were a lot of folks getting rather worried.

Hang in there... you've always got a vaca awaiting you at Sluggy's!

Anne in the kitchen said...

I am glad you are back, but figured something was up since you are generally a very regular poster. (Is that even a real word?) Hope things clear up for your family soon.

Elephant's Child said...

Hugs. And welcome back.
Sometimes everything we touch turns to pus in our hands doesn't it?
So hoping that things settle to a more even keel. I don't think there is enough booze in the world to make up for what you and yours are going through at the moment.

Janie Junebug said...

I'm sorry life has been hard, but being a big mouth can be good. Don't keep your opinion to yourself. Don't bite your tongue. It's important. I couldn't help laughing over your comments about your kids. Accountant is a good job, especially if he becomes a CPA. Then you can all move in with your son. I wonder if my son still has his Ball State cap. Probably not. I brag about my kids, but sometimes I think they are idiots--total idiots, like how do they walk and talk at the same time? How do they keep jobs? Favorite Young Man can be so irresponsible, and The Hurricane can be downright dirty mean. They are not perfect. I am not perfect. Franklin is perfect.

Love,
Janie

SAM said...

We always took notes with my parents care, and later my husband and sister in law did so with my father in law, if nothing more than to make sure we understood, and could communicate back. Wouldn't think a person would have to remind the docotrs what their own findings were. You sound like a tremendous advocate for your family-someone has to b unafraid to raise the tough issues.

Sonya Ann said...

Cheapchick-Your comment brought tears to my eyes. It helped so much. I felt so alone. It was my own fault, mind you but I really wasn't in a good place. And all I needed was just to write about it and my friends would pick me back up. Thank you.

Sonya Ann said...

MiserlyMac-Thank you very much. Just knowing that people are pulling for me helps.

Sonya Ann said...

sluggy-I think that Den would find me though. He would probably want to move in too. Well at least, move in the garage.

Sonya Ann said...

rivulet-I feel so loved. Thank you my friend. It wasn't fair that I disappeared with out an explanation and it honestly didn't help my mental health either. What was I thinking?!

Sonya Ann said...

Anne in the kitchen-I think its a word, hell woman, go with it. And thank you for the concern, I'm loved. It's a nice feeling.

Sonya Ann said...

Elephant's Child-Thank you for the hug and for the concern. I was just in such an odd funk and I sure didn't like it there. Even Den was like maybe you should write something. Getting back into my normal routine and having everyone send me so much love was just what I needed. A big hug back.

Sonya Ann said...

Janie Junebug-You are wonderful and Franklin is better than all of us!!! You made me laugh.
Den often said that the only reason that Anna lived was because she was cute. She was a dreadful kid. DJ was good but he was always trying to die. Literally die. I guess we will have some great stories to tell when we are in the nursing home.
Maybe that was what was wrong with me, I was biting my tongue. I needed to release the rage. Hahaha.

Sonya Ann said...

SAM-You are right. I guess part of my problem is that they are getting older. Before they took care of everything themselves but it seems that things are getting a bit screwed up now. I think you just hit the nail on the head with my funk and all. Accepting that they are getting older and we are going to watch them go downhill is something that I'm not going to handle well. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

Treaders said...

Glad to see you back Sonya Ann. You were right not to post until you were ready to - and then of course you can offload to us all. Women are good at that. I think that's why we live longer - WE TALK TO EACH OTHER. And I'm so sorry to hear of all your troubles. Sometimes when you think that's a light you see at the end of the tunnel it turns out to be freight train coming the other way doesn't it!

In my God-awful marriage to a violent drunk I sometimes felt that I really, really couldn't take any more and a quote from Mother Teresa held me together. She said that she knew God would never send her more than she could handle - but she just wished he didn't trust her so much!! Hang in there. Anna

Sonya Ann said...

Treaders-I'm so glad that you are out of your marriage. That was a bad situation and thank you for letting me unload and being support. None of the problems were all that bad but when you combine them, it pushed me over the edge.
And Mother Teresa was so right, I too am being trusted a bit too much.

Jane said...

Oh Sonya Ann welcome back honey! Ain't life grand? I am so so sorry for the ordeals your in-laws are going through!!! That's just the worst! I wish Kazi had a plan like Anna's, that's how well she's doing :( 5 years of university to become a bartender! Like you I'm doing yard work, painting the bathroom etc...anything to distract myself from the fact that sometimes (like now) life really sucks the big one. The nice thing about being at the bottom is the only way is up! Love ya!

Frances said...

OMG! OMG! OMG! You came back and I missed it. So glad you are feeling better enough to write. Sorry you were having a hard time for a while. Did you have enough booze to get you through?

Donna Freedman said...

Into each life a little shit must fall, but you, lady, have been existing under the equivalent of a broken sewer main. I'm so sorry about everything going wrong at once, and so glad to see you back online.

Sonya Ann said...

Jane-Thank you, my dear. I just hope that eventually one of the moves works out. It has to, right?
For some odd reason, I keep finding more and more projects to do inside the house when I really should be working on the outside. Dejunking is a winter project, isn't it?

Sonya Ann said...

Frances-Hahaha, you made me laugh. The booze didn't help. It was so bad that even Den was walking around on egg shells. I wasn't mad or yelling just depressed. It was a new thing around here. And I don't think that he liked it.

Sonya Ann said...

Donna Freedman-Best analogy yet. Shit storms are the worst but you hold a title in that field too, don't you?