Monday, June 13, 2016

An Insulting Tip


Oftentimes, I think that I shouldn't have been allowed to raise children. My poor kids are so messed up. So so messed up.
DJ and I were in the kitchen talking and Den had fallen asleep on the couch one night. Like the good wife that I am, I left him. Well cuz, that means I get the bed to myself. He likes it obviously.
Anywho, DJ and I hear Den rolling around downstairs moaning slightly. He pops up to the standing position. He gets terrible leg cramps sometimes at night and was trying to stretch them out.
DJ looks at him and says, "Oh look, he shit himself awake again."
Terrible child.
The good new is a tablespoon of regular mustard will stop leg cramps pretty quickly. I would also take an antacids just in case.
Do you have home remedies that work? Did you ruin your kids?
No cramps,
Sonya Ann

7 comments:

Practical Parsimony said...

That was so funny. Did Den hear him? Exbf said he stands up to get rid of leg cramps. I don't understand the standing bit. I just fight my way to straightening the leg while I scream. Thankfully, I only have a leg cramp about once every six months. I DON'T THINK you ruined your kids unless maybe they got your bizarre sense of humor.

Cheapchick said...

He obviously picked up his sense of humor from you two...therefore you get to reap the benefits now lol.

Anne in the kitchen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anne in the kitchen said...

Sorry I accidentally deleted the first comment. I am glad other are out there who are like my offspring. When all 3 sons get together a weird smart ass competition starts and no one is safe from their assault. I blame TheHub who just looks at them then at me and shakes his head.

SAM said...

I take pride in the fact that my kids have my biting sense of humor. It was funny when the older kids would say something witty, but entirely inappropriate, in front of their little sister, and say "M-don't repeat that." She can now out duo them n smart assery.

Janie Junebug said...

Well, of course I ruined my children. That's why I had them. It was great fun. They have huge vocabularies and it's because I taught them to curse like sailors. My mother-in-law was appalled by the way I raised my kids, but that's what a mother-in-law is for (as if she did such a great job; she raised a man who abused me, cheated on me, and was/is a gambling addict). My son is thirty-six. Sometimes he comes over for dinner and we watch a movie together. If there's any female nudity or a sex scene, even if it's under the covers, I make him put his hands over his eyes.

Love,
Janie

Elephant's Child said...

I wake up shrieking with cramps often. So often that my bed-mates (partner and cat) no longer notice...