Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Wicked Wednesday

These are things that I found funny this week. I think the title to my memoir would be-I tried and then got sober. What would the title of your memoir be? You have to be creative, you will be tested at the end of this post!!! No copying either, I am watching.
I made this one a little larger than normal because some of us are having a hard time reading small print in our old age. The eyes and the ears are the first to go. Even Den is complaining that he can't hear anymore. Maybe it is because mid-sentence, I start whispering just to fuck with him. Seriously, try it. And don't even scold me on this one, these are the things that make life worth living. Like the fact that he thought his car had gremlins but really it was me resetting the programmed seat. It squished him to the steering wheel. Anna said he was begging it to stop and saying, oh God no, please stop. She laughed until she sobbed and never tried to save him. I raised her right. And please don't ever tell him I was the Gremlin. Look, I'll give you all a passing grade on the quiz at the end of this post if this stays our little secret.
I bet I can come up with tons of names for you!!!
A real friend,
Sonya Ann


8 comments:

slugmama said...

Oh I KNOW you have a few choices names for me......bwwaaaah!

Practical Parsimony said...

Right now, I don't want to call myself bad names before I am well! It would be too demoralizing.

Cheapchick said...

Damn, my hubby is truly deaf (drummer) but refuses to go get a hearing aid. He had his hearing tested a couple years ago and the apparently said it was within the normal range. The kids and I all thought that DR was on glue. Our new to us car has programmable seats but it attaches the memory to the key fob so that wont work, I'll have to find another way to screw with him lol

Anne in the kitchen said...

Mom has hearing aids but will not wear them. Instead she tells us constantly that she can't hear us. Somedays when we are felling a little tired of it all we result to guerrilla warfare and My Beloved Sister and I will start speaking loudly then droop our volume lower and lower. She will badger us about not being able to hear enough times that we can tell her if she would put her "ears" in she wouldn't have this problem. She usually flips us off then.

When he was younger and men wore hats to work each day, my dad bought an exact copy of one of his coworker's hats a size smaller than his real hat. Every day he would come into the office and hang his hat on the hat rack, and every morning as soon as he left his desk to go to the restroom Dad would exchange his hat for the smaller one. At lunch he would put the smaller hat on and go out to eat. The afternoon bathroom break was when Dad would make the switch back to the original hat. He kept this up for about a month until his coworker told him he needed the day off to go to the doctor. it seemed his head was swelling everyday in the middle of the day, then shrinking each evening.

Sonya Ann said...

Chepchick-I'm thinking snag his key fob and then reset it. But please don't mention me if things go South.

Sonya Ann said...

Anne in the kitchen-You have an AWESOME family!!! A really wicked bloodline that you should be proud of!!!!!

SAM said...

I love love love Anne's story! I was never that clever, but my memoir might be "Sarcasm was my first, middle, and last name". That or, perhaps more on point, "Yes, I could be a bitch, but it was earned"

Elephant's Child said...

LOVE Anne's story.
My memoir title? Better than sleeping tablets.